blah

I need a swift kick in the pants...I feel blah. The sun is shining cause it does here- that is great! It is a weekend- the times I usually love the most cause Nevi, Devin and I can all be together. But for some reason I am dragging.Simply dragging. Perhaps it is being almost over the flu....both Nev and I have seemed to move through this flu and let our fevers go...but I still feel exhausted. Or maybe it really is a time of mourning...the lack of our friends here at Pulai Springs where we live. Yunno, we expats we get attached quickly to people...and yet we know they come and go...but Nevi having Hannah to play with and me having Kate to play with....well the days just are not the same. Maybe it is a bit that when they left...I realized we did not have too long left to be here. perhaps my gears are shifting...I am looking toward August 1, but we are still in the end of June. SO maybe I am shifting gears to try and figure out how to fully live these next weeks in the present and yet be ready and prepared to move back to the States after a year away. Maybe it is my worry about sending Genevieve to school tomorrow alone with a driver...Maybe there is more going on inside my brain and heart than I think...and thus I feel a bit blah...and oh so tired. Sometimes I resist giving in...but one of the lessons I have had the freedom to try on here- is slowing down. It is ok to slow down when you feel the need. IT is ok to rest...to stop and surmise the scene- to not be so over involved that you forget what might be going on inside. So I am taking my own new medicine...it is ok to feel the blah's...and perhaps tomorrow I will wake with a new sense of excitement. Change is essential and change is often hard. Maybe I just need to catch up with myself. So, I feel gratitude for the sunshine...and will be happy to lay my head down tonight for a good sound night of rest. Tomorrow is a new day.